Friday, June 23, 2017

7 Communication Tricks When You Can't Remember Someones Name

Ahh, summertime! A time to get out, mingle, socialize, meet new people, and connect with old friends and acquaintances. While you're out there shaking hands and kissing babies you may run into some people who you've met but just can't remember their name. Well, here's 7 tips from Gretchen Rubin's book "The Happiness Project" and a couple from yours truly. 


1) The "I know your name but I'm blocked" Dodge: "I keep wanting to call you 'Dave,' but I know tha's not right."

2) The "Of course I know you - In fact, I want all your information" Dodge: "Hey, I'd love to get your card."

3) The "Tip of my tongue" Dodge: "I know your name, but I'm blanking right now."

4) The "You're brilliant!" Dodge: "Wow, you have a terrific memory. I can't believe you remember my name from that meeting six months ago."

5) The "Sure I remember you" Dodge: "Remind me - what's your last name?" If you ask a person for his last name, he's likely to repeat both names. "Doe, John Doe."

6) The "One sided introduction" Dodge: "Let me introduce you to Pat," you say to Nameless One. You introduce the two and say Pat's name. Usually Nameless One will volunteer a name.

Remember that people might not remember your name. Err on the side of re-introducing yourself. And don't be offended it someone forgets your name!

BONUS: The "Nonchalantly read their name tag" Dodge:
When talking to them (or preferably before) subtly spy their name tag.

BONUS #2: This one's my favorite: JUST ASK! No dodging at all, approach it head on with grace and confidence.
"I'm sorry, but I forgot your name." or "I'm sorry, but what's your name again?" or "I'm sorry, but I'm bad at names. What is your name?"


There you have it! All of these are tricks I've used before in the many years of sales, meetings, events, mixers, parties, or just simply running into someone when I'm out and about!

The first seven I nicked from Gretchen Rubin's book "The Happiness Project" (not to say that she created them) and the last two bonus tricks I added myself (not to say that I created those!).

Now go out and move more confidently at your next company picnic (or whatever you have going) and not stress about not saying 'hi' to someone because you remember meeting them, but can't recall their name.

All the best,

Monday, June 19, 2017

Her Survival Guide, High Schoolers and a Hit & Run

I've been driving Honda Civics for almost 20 years. My little black 2007 Civic almost has 200k miles on it. It has been a great car.  Very little has gone wrong with it; tires, a brake job and rear shocks are the only things I had to put in it other than regular oil changes and a tune up or two. It's my third Civic since I bought my first one in 2000. Awesome cars!

Anyway, so I drive out of state a fair amount, and although my car is good, it does have a fair amount of miles on it and I can see some repairs coming in the future, so I started to wrap my mind around buying another one. I figure I should start the process early; a dig your well before your thirsty kind of thing.

In 2016 Honda updated the Civic look to an eleven on the awesome scale. After looking at a couple, I was sure that was the way to go. And that's, as they say where the trouble started!

The 2016 Honda Civic got bad reviews from Consumer Reports(CR), so much so it was the first time it slipped off their suggested buying list. Why?! The reason they gave was mainly due to reliability, which is one of my largest concerns I have in vehicles and why I went with the Civic in the first place.

Now, I have to put things in perspective regarding what CR saying. After all it IS a Civic! So, I did more research and finally came to the conclusion that although I'm sure the car would probably work out fine, the key word  here is 'probably.' I just couldn't get over the reviews and didn't want to use my hard earned cash for a ride that would be less than I was hoping for. I mean, hey the last time I got a new car was almost nine years ago and I was hoping to get at least that out of my next one. You know the reason I wanted to buy a new one in the first place is so I know I will have a reliable vehicle if I ended up in some type of financial crunch (you know being self employed and all).

All that said, I started looking at 2014 or newer Honda Accords. A little bigger and the next model up, but they are rated high in every category CR has. The Accords are known for how bullet proof they are regarding reliability. Of course I didn't rule out 2014 or 2015 Civics either, but I was leaning over to the Accord side of the equation if I couldn't get a 2016 or 2017 Civic.

This year I had a couple good sized contracts come through, helping me with a down payment. I figured there was no time like the present to pull the trigger on something, before something derailed my plan.

My schedule has been wrecked lately due to a lot of training contracts, so time has been tight. When Memorial Day weekend rolls around, I go and test drive a half dozen cars or so and find a gray 2014 Certified Accord that really talks to me. The dealership is having a clearance (yea they probably tell everyone that!), so I get it for what I think is a good deal (as a matter of fact the price is lower than I paid for my 2007 Civic when I bought it!). I end up working out the details and am driving it by Wednesday!

Now this is a smooth ride, hands free blue tooth (I made this feature a necessity for any vehicle I was going to get), air (yep, I hadn't had air in my Civic for probably 5 years). I really enjoyed driving this new car! It handled great, was peppy, had a lot more cabin room, smoother ride, looked awesome! I hadn't felt this giddy over a vehicle since I was a teenager!

Me Teaching HSG at Caledonia High School

Now of course, I have to pay for the car too, so that means work. So, I'm teaching a Her Survival Guide  for the 9th, 10th and 11th grade students at Caledonia High School and things are going well. Then, on my second day teaching, I'm walking out to my Cool New Car and I see something... What is that? Is it a reflection making my bumper look like that? Hmmmmm, I think as I get closer. As I approach the driver side the horror sets in. Some little m@#$% ker hit my new car! My car that I haven't even had for a full week has been smashed.

My adolescent inner self is screaming, "Oh My GOOOOOOOOOOOD! This isn't happening! Someone hit my new car!"

Yep, someone clipped the bumper and headlight. *SMACK!* And inside I was mad and wanted to kill the person who did it!

There was no one around, however there was a little yellow note with the persons name and number on it. "Well, at least he left a note." I thought as my adolescent inner-self wiped the tears out of his eyes and unferreled his fists. The note was the right thing for the driver to do, but that didn't stop my mind and emotions from wanting to rise. It was quite an effort to stay Baseline. Before I picked up my phone to call him, I had to regain my composure. I knew it was only an accident and getting mad and taking it out on the driver wasn't going to help anything.

I have written about what and why being Baseline is so important, but here's a review:

Remember, baseline is about being part of the solution, NOT the problem and in order to do this you have to be grounded. There are two kinds of grounding: Tactical Grounding or being grounded in the moment and Foundational Grounding or having healthy habits and living a grounded life.

Both are made up of three components:

1) Attitude
  • See Conflict as an Opportunity
  • Respect Life - Separate actions & beliefs from someone's Life Value.
  • Set the Pace - Lead by Example

2) Awareness
  • Yourself
  • Others
  • The Situational Environment 

3) Appropriate Action 
  • The Right Thing Done at...
  • The Right Time with...
  • The Right Intent (Most Good / Least Harm)

Another component of base line is about what you are FOCUSing on:

Victim's Focus:
  • Problem
  • Helplessness (what you can't do)
  • Blame (anyone or thing other than taking any responsibility yourself!)

PeaceWalker's Focus:
  • Solutions
  • Options (What you CAN do)
  • Action (What's the next step)

The final the facet that I want to share about Baseline is breathing:

Tactical Grounding:

  • Take a Deep Breath and Stand Up Straight
  • Have Positive Self Talk - "I got this. It's going to work out."
  • Put on Your "Game Face" (the right expression to suit the situation)

 Ok, so back to our story...

Before I called the number on that little yellow note, I took a deep breath (ok, a few of 'em) and instinctively went through each of items you just read and then called him. Sure enough, it was one of the students. His voice shook a bit as he talked. I asked him if anyone was hurt and what had happened. He told me the story and I commended him on his honesty and told him he did the right thing leaving his number.

After speaking with his mother we got all of the insurance arrangements taken care of. Both her and her son were very nice. Under the circumstances things could not have worked out any better. My car wasn't badly damaged, it was driveable, the damage was relatively minimal and most importantly no one was hurt.

Now, I have to admit it was difficult keeping my cool and not blowing up at the kid for hitting my new car, but by using some of the tools I described here I was able to keep things in perspective and not lose it. Later, the kids mother thanked me for not getting upset with her son. Both she and I thought he did a stand up job ethical thing by leaving a note and we both told him so.

I collected their insurance info and immediately started that process. (Hey, luckily they had insurance and were very amicable.)

So that part is taken care of, now I have been practicing my Baseline Skills dealing with the insurance company and body shop, but you'll have to wait to hear about that story on my next post!

Same as it ever was...

Keep going,

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Relationship Vampires

Relationship Assessment Questions:

1) Do I feel better or worse when I'm around, talk to or think about this person?

2) Does this person usually have a positive or negative mindset and attitude?

3) Is this person taking responsibility for their life or always making excuses about being the victim of circumstance?

4) Do they support my efforts and excited about my success or do they complain about their own life when I achieve something or try to make me feel bad about myself or them?

If a person is being a relationship Vampire (RV) than cut them loose and free yourself from their anchor of despair! Life is too short to keep spending time with people who are emotionally sucking you dry.

I know how difficult this can be. Don't make it personal. It's not you, it's ME! Really, sometimes the chemistry just doesn't work. It could happen in your personal, professional or public life. Sometimes it's better just to cut ties and move on.

That is all! Carry on...


Wednesday, May 24, 2017

10 Rules for Being Human by Dr Cherie Carter-Scott

1)    You will receive a body. You may love it or hate it, but it will be yours for the duration of your life on Earth.

2)  You will be presented with lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called ‘life.’ Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your curriculum.

3)  There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation, a series of trials, errors, and occasional victories. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that work.

4)  A lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons will be repeated to you in various forms until you have learned them. When you have learned them, you can then go on to the next lesson.

5)   Learning does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6)  ‘There’ is no better than ‘here’. When your ‘there’ has become a ‘here,’ you will simply obtain a ‘there’ that will look better to you than your present ‘here’.

7)  Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

8)  What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you.

9)  Your answers lie inside of you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10)  You will forget all of this at birth. You can remember it if you want.

 by Dr Cherie Carter-Scott

Monday, May 15, 2017

Making Decisions: The OODA Loop

This post about Col. John Boyd's OODA Loop, comes to you from the infamous Wikipedia. 
You can click the link if you want to read it from that source. 

The OODA Loop is yet another process that is simple and something we do all of the time, however understanding the recipe with greater clarity can help us to utilize these skills with greater success, especially during times of stress and conflict. 

Rather than reinventing the wheel and writing my own article about this now famous method, I decided to re-post Wikipedia's description of Boyd's OODA Loop. So, without further ado, here it is:

The phrase OODA loop refers to the decision cycle of observe, orient, decide, and act, developed by U.S. Air Force military strategist Colonel John Boyd.  Boyd applied the concept to the combat operations process, often at the strategic level in military operations. It is now also often applied to understand commercial operations and learning processes. The approach favors agility over raw power in dealing with human opponents in any endeavor.

The OODA loop has become an important concept in taking action in many area of life including: Litigation, business, law enforcement, military, personal defense and other decision based endeavors. According to Boyd, decision making occurs in a recurring cycle of observe-orient-decide-act. An entity (whether an individual or an organization) that can process this cycle quickly, observing and reacting to unfolding events more rapidly than an opponent can thereby "get inside" the opponent's decision cycle and gain the advantage. Frans Osinga argues that Boyd's own views on the OODA loop are much deeper, richer, and more comprehensive than the common interpretation of the "rapid OODA loop" idea.

Boyd developed the concept to explain how to direct one's energies to defeat an adversary and survive. Boyd emphasized that "the loop" is actually a set of interacting loops that are to be kept in continuous operation during combat. He also indicated that the phase of the battle has an important bearing on the ideal allocation of one's energies.
Boyd's diagram shows that all decisions are based on observations of the evolving situation tempered with implicit filtering of the problem being addressed. The observations are the raw information on which decisions and actions are based. The observed information must be processed to orient it for decision making. In notes from his talk "Organic Design for Command and Control", Boyd said,
The second O, orientation—as the repository of our genetic heritage, cultural tradition, and previous experiences—is the most important part of the O-O-D-A loop since it shapes the way we observe, the way we decide, the way we act.
As stated by Boyd and shown in the "Orient" box, there is much filtering of the information through our culture, genetics, ability to analyze and synthesize, and previous experience. Since the OODA Loop was designed to describe a single decision maker, the situation is usually much worse than shown, as most business and technical decisions have a team of people observing and orienting, each bringing their own cultural traditions, genetics, experience and other information. It is here that decisions often get stuck, which does not lead to winning, because:
In order to win, we should operate at a faster tempo or rhythm than our adversaries—or, better yet, get inside [the] adversary's Observation-Orientation-Decision-Action time cycle or loop ... Such activity will make us appear ambiguous (unpredictable) thereby generate confusion and disorder among our adversaries—since our adversaries will be unable to generate mental images or pictures that agree with the menacing, as well as faster transient rhythm or patterns, they are competing against.
The OODA loop, which focuses on strategic military requirements, was adapted for business and public sector operational continuity planning. Compare it to the Plan Do Check Act (PDCA) cycle or Shewhart cycle.

As one of Boyd's colleagues, Harry Hillaker, put it in "John Boyd, USAF Retired, Father of the F16":
The key is to obscure your intentions and make them unpredictable to your opponent while you simultaneously clarify his intentions. That is, operate at a faster tempo to generate rapidly changing conditions that inhibit your opponent from adapting or reacting to those changes and that suppress or destroy his awareness. Thus, a hodgepodge of confusion and disorder occur to cause him to over- or under-react to conditions or activities that appear to be uncertain, ambiguous, or incomprehensible.
The OODA Loop also serves to explain the nature of surprise and shaping operations in a way that unifies Gestalt psychology, cognitive science and game theory in a comprehensive theory of strategy. Utility theory (the basis of game theory) describes how decisions are made based on the perceived value of taking an action. The OODA Loop shows that prior to making a decision (the Decide phase), the person will first have to get information (Observe) and determine what it means to him and what he can do about it (Orient). In this way, the utility sought at the Decide phase can be altered by affecting the information the opponent receives and the cognitive model he applies when orienting upon it.[5]

Writer Robert Greene wrote in an article called OODA and You that
... the proper mindset is to let go a little, to allow some of the chaos to become part of his mental system, and to use it to his advantage by simply creating more chaos and confusion for the opponent. He funnels the inevitable chaos of the battlefield in the direction of the enemy.

This simple yet powerful method can hopefully help you to be more effective at making and acting on decisions you make in many areas of your life.


Sunday, May 7, 2017

If Only

How many of us have said this to ourselves? If only (fill in the blank) then I will be happy, successful, fulfilled, etc?

However, "if only..." is always just a step a way. No matter what condition is met there always seems to be one more "if only" preventing us from that elusive happiness, success and fulfillment. What if I told you that there is no "if only" outside of yourself, preventing you from being happy, successful and fulfilled? What then? Kind of scary isn't it? Once the water settles and there's nothing to hide behind, you have to deal with the fact that you have the ability to be happy and fulfilled right here, right now in this moment, not in some fanciful far off time or place or after some big accomplishment.  What if I told you this IS it!? Right here, right NOW!?

That's not to say accomplishing things in life is bad, wrong or doesn't bring with it a good feeling. But soon after the lights go down, everyone leaves, the award looses some of its shine, you are once again left alone with yourself. Alone to look into the mirror called your life. What do you see? Who stares back into your eyes? What do those eyes say to you? Do you continually find yourself starting your internal dialog by saying, "if only" followed by an idea that you are somehow lacking something inside of yourself or that you need something to complete you as a human being (sorry Jerry Maguire)? Well, that's your fears f#%king with you. That's your smallness lying to you, fooling you, trying to convince you that you weren't born with the seeds of greatness already inside of you! You don't need "if only" to complete you or make you happy or fulfill you. That bus will never come.

Keep exploring, keep creating, keep going! Live large. Remember those famous words written by Marianne Williamson and spoken by Nelson Mandela,   

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine..."

If only... you saw the truth, you are already there...You are your only "If Only..."

Keep going!


Friday, April 28, 2017


In my last post I talked about STARTING. This post is dedicated to FINISHING! After you get used to starting things, get in the habit of finishing them too! Once starting is a non-issue, all of a sudden finishing can become the next hurdle! It's easy to begin something (or many somethings) and never finish anything!

I know from personal experience I have challenges finishing things. Two main things hinder my ability to finish:

  1. So many ideas, so little time. 
  2. The devil's in the details.

(1) So many ideas, so little time... I find it easier and more fun to brainstorm possibilities, especially when I get inspired by a new idea. I love the feeling of that creative energy, which is so much easier when it's just a dream and you don't have to worry about any actual details of implementation, leading to completion.

(2) The devil's in the details... Once the broad-strokes have been brushed, all of the minutia churns into a shitstorm of incompletion on more projects than I can count. Sometimes other people have gotten caught in those storms which can cause some hard feelings. In our heads it seems totally natural to move on to the next shiny object, but to those who may have gotten dirty down in the trenches with you, they don't necessarily hear what's going on in our brain, so they may be left in the dark, feeling abandoned and a little bitter for the time they spent on your project abortion.

I learned a few things about myself along the way regarding finishing. No, I still don't always complete all of my projects. Yes, I still get distracted by shiny objects. And, yes, I can still frustrate people who are collaborating with me, as well as those who are anxiously awaiting my next creative endeavor. So, no I'm not perfect...But I'm better than I have ever been and I plan to keep improving!

Here are 5 tips on how to FINISH:

1) When you think of that NEXT great project, instead of shelving the one you're working on now to entertain the new shiny object, write it down and put it in your "Great Idea" folder. Then get back to the completing the project in hand before spending time on the new idea.

2) Make a "to-do" list of the details that you need to complete.

3) Make a timeline. Create a schedule of when you plan to get those things on your "to-do" list done.

4) Probably THE most important tip is to Set a overall project Deadline (then you can work backwards to connect the dots for your timeline)!

5) Know when to quit. Not every project needs to be completed. Yes, it's true, not all endeavors need to see the finish line. Some things are best left on the cutting room floor so to speak. 

Know what to Start, what to Finish and what to walk away from. Whatever you do be sure that you are Enjoying the Ride!

Keep going,

Wednesday, April 26, 2017


If you wait until everything is perfect, you will probably never start! One of the (many) things I do is run a martial arts academy and if I had a dollar for every time I've heard someone say, "Before I start training, I want to get into shape first"  I would be rich! Those people almost never start.

No, we have to START first, often before all of our ducks are in a row, before everything is perfect.  To start means to take action, to do. Breaking out into the unknown is scary, especially in a world where we are infused with so much information. The information can (falsely) give us comfort and make us feel as if we are actually doing something and/or making progress. It can also give us a sense of being overwhelmed (a.k.a. analysis/paralysis). Another symptom of having access to an overload of information with little or no actual experience is criticism (a.k.a. the armchair quarterback). Which brings us full circle to folks not actually starting...

I've talked to countless people who want to start their own journey in things from businesses to blogs and most fail to do the THE most important step necessary to success... STARTING! That's right simply take the first step. Remember the second, third and forth steps won't matter if you never take your first!

When is good time to start? NOW! Today's day and age is perfect for aspiring newb's in pretty much any field! Why? Because of the ease of entry. It is simpler than ever to get the information and resources needed to do whatever you want to do!

You want to be a writer!? The software you need to write it, publish it and distribute it is free! No longer do you need expensive equipment and a publishing contract with some huge firm to accomplish your goal of being a writer. You have access to everything you need to produce, publish, market and distribute your own book, petty much for FREE!

You want to play music? You can learn any instrument free on youtube, buy it cheap and have it delivered to your doorstep from ebay, access (free) apps that will provide you the rest of your band (electronically), then edit, engineer, produce, publish, market and distribute your entire album as well as build your following, all for free (or pretty darn close to it)!

You want to be a journalist? You can wait for New York Times to hire you, or you can write the next world changing story, post it on your free blog (like this one), get your word out, build your following and change the world.

I could go on, but you get the idea. Never in our history has it been so easy to do these things! However, you have to START! Don't wait until everything's perfect! Do it now! Don't worry, you can correct and refine as you go.

Make a plan, refine it as best as you can, and get it out of your head and into the world, then make the necessary changes and corrections as you move forward!

Yes, it takes courage, a little planning and tenacity, but you can do it!

and... Keep Going!

All the best,

Monday, April 24, 2017

Being Tough vs. Effective

I was listening to an interview with Rickson Gracie and he said something that I thought was pretty insightful. He talked about the difference of being tough vs. effective. Being tough, Rickson stated is about your mentality. Being effective is about your skill and technique.

I suppose you could describe those two things by using other words, however the point that I got out of it is that you can be tough and not efficient or effective at something. Efficiency and effectiveness comes out of proper strategy, tactics and technique.

Obviously, one should strive to have toughness, efficiency and effectiveness. And, lets not forget ethics. What is the intent behind why you are doing what you are doing?

Being tough is good, however being tough, efficient, effective and ethical in everything that you are doing in life gains much better results. Not to mention it enables you to have a better chance to not only survive the long haul, but maybe even enjoy the ride a little more. 

In martial arts / tactical training try to learn how to accomplish things with less effort and violence whenever possible. How can we be more efficient and effective rather than using only toughness to try to compensate for lack of strategy, tactics and proper technique?

Now when the sh*t hits the fan in life, do whatever you need to in order to accomplish what is necessary (within ethical parameters of course), be it survival, business or brain surgery. However when you are training, try to learn the knowledge and skill necessary to help you accomplish things more efficiently and effectively in ways other than just the brute force of "trying harder." As a matter of fact, sometimes being tough and/or trying harder isn't enough

So what are you doing to become more efficient, effective and ethical in those areas of your life that you want to excel in? Change your perspective to look at the situation differently, so that you can leverage not only your toughness, but all attributes at your disposal. Work smarter and harder, be tough and effective!

Keep going!



Wednesday, April 19, 2017

11 Tips to Stick to an Exercise Schedule

1) Train for Life 

We were meant to move, so don't over complicate it. You were given one body this time around and if you don't take care of it, where are you going to live?

2) Doing Something is Better than Nothing

Waiting until your schedule is free and your life is perfect to begin your Olympic style workout basically means that you won't be training any time soon, if ever. Do something, anything!

3) Find Something that Works for You

Yoga, martial arts, Pilates, Zumba, swimming, running, lifting, step aerobics, dancing, hiking, biking... whatever! Find something that works for you. Try to get some strengthening, stretching and cardio... and breathe dammit breathe!

4) Start Small

If you are just starting, go easy on yourself: Slow at first. If you've been training, but get injured or life happens and your training lapses: Start back up slow. Don't just rip back into your old workout. Dial it back a few notches for a week or so, before ramping it up.

5) Don't Be So Hard on Yourself

Life is a marathon not a sprint, do things that are sustainable. Think of the big picture. Have fun and don't wreck yourself!

6) Being Fit is Different than Being Healthy

Yep, they are different. Fitness is relative to the activity you are doing. Being overall healthy is being fit for life! Your fitness isn't worth your health!

7) Develop a Habit

A lot of consistent little things add up to big things. If I'm running late and feel like skipping a workout, I'll talk myself into running a few blocks rather than not doing anything at all, so even if I don't get my usual 3 to 5 miles in, I at least did something! It helps me keep my habit.

8) It's Not About the Thing, but the Things the Thing Helps You to Do

I train so I can live a happier, healthier, better life. I have to continue to remind myself of that, or I'll go head first into my ego to wreck myself doing the thing, rather than the things that thing is helping me to do!

9) Push Yourself

Wait a minute, didn't I just say "don't be so hard on yourself?" Yes I did... It's alright to push yourself in a healthy way, just like competition can be healthy if it is done in a balanced way. Listen to yourself. Your body will tell you to move faster or put more stress on. If you train in a group, w/a partner or a trainer, let the momentum carry you to new heights. This occasional push will enhance your overall experience keeping you on track. Challenging yourself is necessary to staying engaged in your training. 

10) Stay Motivated

Surround yourself with inspiration! Whatever works for you! That could be people, reading an article, posts (like this) or book; watching videos, teaching someone else, learning something new, buying something that helps your practice (be it apparel, a prop, whatever); have a goal and when you achieve that set a new intention; enter a competition... But keep it all in balance! Remember healthy vs. fit!

11) Everything Has a Season

Just like the seasons change, so should your training! Things change, you change and the way you workout has to change if you are going to continue for the long haul! If you are 50 and still trying to workout like you did when you were 30, you are setting yourself up for failure, injury and disappointment. If you were in peak condition (for you) before your 2 week vacation in the Bahamas, and now you find that it's two months later and you still haven't worked out; that (micro) season is done as well! Make sure your workouts and expectations are appropriate for the season you are in.

BONUS Tip!!  

12) Keep Going 

This one is simple not easy!

Be well,


Friday, March 24, 2017

The Bahama's a Stone's Throw Away

First night on the boat was a blast! Ended up hanging out w/the crew. We went to a local place they called 'the fish fry' (catchy I know). And what a place it was! We were the only non-locals. It was like one of those bazaars you roll into overseas. People everywhere! Music blaring! Motorcycles and cars rolling through the crowd. Fish shacks lined up back to back along the water. A crazy place!

We went to 'Sonny's', a favorite of the sailors.  Sonny and his wife are in their 70's or 80's and are down there everyday selling their specialty conch delights! He was very proud of his place and was a wonderful host!

After grabbing a bite to eat and a drink or two we headed to a soccer game. The rest of the night went by quickly. A great start to my travels!

The water here is so beautiful! Shades of bluest blue and greenest green... unbelievable! We set sail for a few hours. It certainly is a beautiful sight seeing the ship under full sail! 8.5 knots, the rock of the boat, warm sun, nice breeze... Good for the soul!

After a day of relaxing on some of the most incredible beaches known to man. Sapphire water, powered sugar sand and no other people for miles I swam back to the boat to watch the sunset!

You'd be right if you're thinking that these pics don't do this moment justice. If you haven't experienced a sunset out on a sailboat in the middle of the Caribbean don't wait! Life's too short to miss out... 

Captain Rob (Yes, many Capt. Ron jokes ensued throughout the trip!) gave us an astronomy lesson with his wicked cool super laser pointer! It was really unbelievable! (Yes, I do think it was the same one that Auric used on Bond in the 1964 movie Goldfinger).

Captain Ron... Oh, I mean Capt. Rob

The moonless sky was so clear that you could easily see the milky way! There were so many stars out that some of the constellations were hard to find! It was like being in a planetarium only better!

This morning climbed the rigging up the main mast to the crows nest some 90' feet up. Palms sweating, heart pounding, jittery... Breathe, go hand over hand, focus on now! One step at a time. Keep going, don't stop, you'll make it! If someone can do it, I can do it too!

Kyle (one of the sailors) climbed this like a monkey. He felt at home just 'hanging' around. Crazy! Me, not so much! =)

   The view up top was breathtaking!

 We sailed through a place called 'Current Cut' part of the Eleuthera Islands. They said it was rather technical to navigate it. It's only about 300' wide at the waterline, however underneath the water, the "cut" is less than 125' wide at high tide. This cut allowed the keel of the ship to pass without grounding. Captain Rob made the pass look effortless. 

Later that day we arrived at Glass Window. It was once a natural rock bridge that separated the  Atlantic and Caribbean Ocean. The stark difference is profound. Master & Commander meets Captain Ron. Beautiful! The cliffs were incredible. Maybe 120' or so. You could see for miles!

The moon pools were cool too! An area where the ocean cut away the rock into these circular formations, like bird baths. At night they reflect the moon in each pool... Thus the name! Too bad I didn't get to see that!

After hiking back to the beach I took a quick dip to cool off and then swam back to the boat. Much to my delight, the crew rigged a Tarzan Swing off the aft mast of the ship. Much fun was had by swinging 20' or so off the rope and into the warm turquoise water! It was like being a kid again! The day wrapped up wit a jam session with the crew and guests! Another fantastic day sailing the Caribbean!

Sailed through the night and anchored off from Rose Island where we snorkeled (OMG!), swam some more, chilled and saw Gilligan's Island! Yes, that's right, I did say Gilligan's Island! The very island they used for the main picture of the original B&W series. Later, when they went color, they used an island near Hawaii.

 If you look close, you can see Mary Ann making banana cream pie!

Sailing was great! It was pretty much what I was expecting. I'm glad I finally did it! No, I didn't touch on much of what I did on this trip, you only get a flavor! Many things will stick with me for a lifetime, but my favorite has to be sitting on the deck watching the sun set and the stars come out! There aren't words to describe that! 

It was cool sharing that world for a while. The crew had something going on that was addictive. They loved what they were doing and it showed in everything that they did! Vibrant! Alive! The ocean and sailing is deep and rich in history and tradition. The skill each of the crew demonstrated was impressive. We admired seeing them in their element... and being a part of it even if only for a moment.

After getting off the ship, I stayed a couple days at this fantastic place called 'A Stone's Throw Away', another place that I recommend you go if you ever get the chance! You won't regret it!

Well, that's it for now intrepid travelers! Thanks for sharing some of my journey! Until next time! Remember...

“To know the universe itself as a road for traveling souls.” 

~Rolf Potts

All the best,

Monday, March 13, 2017

Charlie's Pigs Feet

By this time, I see that my plan wasn't going quite as I... well, planned. After checking in on the boat, I head to the local convenience store to buy some provisions before getting back on the boat later that afternoon. I forget it's Sunday, so the place is closed, however Othello (I assume the owner) lets me in anyway and lets me grab what I need. Nice guy.

I notice that all the stores here have thick iron bars on all of the doors and windows. The gas station is equipped with bulletproof glass... Hmmm... Although that isn't really any different than many of the places not too far from my place at home, none the less, it makes me more aware that I look like a tourist, complete w/backpack. At least I'm not toting around a bunch of luggage!

I tip Othello for letting me in his store when it was closed (he didn't have to do that!). Feeling the pings of hunger, I realized I haven't had anything to eat all day. So, I ask Othello where there was a good place to eat around here? He directs me to a local place called Charlie's Stadium Cafe'. It's literally around the corner. They call it the stadium cafe' because it is built in the front part of an old sports stadium. Anyway, Othello says it's a favorite local place.

I walk in. It's empty. There are a couple gals working there who greet me. They say something and then grin and laugh. I can't understand them very well because I haven't quite picked up their accent yet. They repeat what they said, directing me to a booth. I sit.

Yet again, they address me in that sweet island dialect. No menus. They just apparently are asking me what I want to eat. I'm looking for some local cuisine. I think I understand them. She is saying something sauce or soup. Local? Yep. Local. Ok, I smile and nod. A few minutes later out comes a huge bowl of soup... Pigs Feet with Sauce.

Oh... NOW I understand what she was saying! Yuck! Boiled pigs feet in soup... Lucky for me it comes with bread.

Yes, I was looking for something local, but this was a bit too local for my taste. Well, at least it came with some bread!

Not wanting to be rude, I was committed to giving it a try.

I quickly realized that I didn't even know how to eat pigs feet! Do I pop them in my mouth and eat them whole! They looked like a mass of hooves, with bone, grizzle and fat. I didn't see any meat on them what so ever.

I look down at the heaping pile and think, "of all the times for there to be huge a portion..." Well, here it goes. I shovel a spoonful in my mouth. It tasted like salty soup. As long as I didn't think about what I was eating it was alright. I munched the hooves around in my mouth, biting off all of the stuff that I could swallow with out choking. Then, after I bit off as much of the chewable tissue I could, I gingerly spit out the remaining hoof into my hand and put it next to the bowl. I continued this process until I went through half of the bowl. My stomach only turned twice threatening to eject my efforts back onto the table. I held strong...

The waitress, Rachael came back to ask me  how everything was? I said great (of course). I finished the "sauce" off by dipping my bread into it. The soup portion was pretty good, but after eating about half of the pigs feet, I was done.

When I was settling my bill, I got a chance to talk with my waitress. I told her that it was my first time eating pigs feet and I admitted to not even knowing how to go about it. She told me that I was doing alright. With the sweetest smile, she went on to tell me how their restaurant is known for their pigs feet in sauce.

Where ever I go people are proud of their heritage, their food, accomplishment, beliefs and values.

I smiled, thanked her and left a tip on my way out.


Friday, March 10, 2017

No Entry Twice

Graffiti painted sign just outside of tourist district in downtown Nassau, Bahamas

For those who don't know me yet, I'll tell you that one of the things I've wanted to do since I first saw a Windjammer Brochure in 2000 is one of these Barefoot Cruises! It was something that I'd dream about, much like a Buffet song, it would help out during times of work stress. A fantasy outlet! Time came and went and before I knew it it was 2016! Yep, 16 years later. A lot happened in the middle of those years (as all years!), but in June, I finally said screw it, I'm going! I just had a decent sized contract come in. I was doing alright on bills and I had enough in my bank account to put a down payment down on the trip. I'll tell ya folks, hadn't I paid that down payment, I wouldn't have gone. Yet another year would have passes by.

So what's a barefoot cruise? Great question! A barefoot cruise is a trip on a small sailing ship (in this case a 125' twin mast schooner). This particular boat will be home to 8 crew and 16 passengers. Flexible, relaxed island agenda. Sailing to the small places with minimal tourists, maximum awesome! No big cruise ships here! Unbelievable beaches, water and hidden coves to explore, minus the hustle bustle of crowds and touristy routes.

I wake up slow, wash up, pack my gear - 12 days, one backpack. That includes all of my clothes, 6 books (BTW, that's about 3 too many!), my journal, toiletries, electronic gear, flip flops, hat, etc. Yep, everything I needed... and more!

For those adventure travelers who are interested, I'll write a blog about what I packed and how I fit it all in to my ONE CARRY-ON luggage piece! Yes, you skeptics it is possible, I had MORE than I needed for the trip. I could have cut a number of items out and have been fine! Don't believe me?! You'll have to catch that blog to see how I did it!

When I travel, I like to walk when it makes sense. This gives me a better feel of the area, the people and helps me to connect with the experience more deeply. I planned this aspect of the trip when I booked my hotel. It looked like a reasonable hike from my hotel to the marina where the boat was docked.

That morning I repacked my flip flops, put my merrells back on , grabbed my gear and headed down the road. By the look of the map, it was a straight shot from the hotel to the marina. Only about 1 1/2 miles. If I kept the ocean on my left and went just passed the bridge to Paradise Island, I'd be there in less than hour.

I walk straight through the tourist district downtown Nassau. I can see the huge ocean liners docked in the water. Each one holds thousands of passengers! A slice of hell if you ask me, but to each their own. The shops I passed by were no doubt catering to the people who came off those ships: Gucci, Polo, Ralph Lauren, Dakkar... You get the idea.

In a few short blocks, I was in what probably was the old tourist area of town. Boarded up buildings, for sale signs and gang graffiti replaced clean facades, new pavement and tourist cash.

Step by step I followed the ocean shore until I finally came to the marina. I found that it is best to look like you know what you're doing when you are wandering around (maybe a guy thing!?). However, don't be afraid to ask questions. In fact, this method seems to work so well, that two different people asked me for directions. When I got to the marina someone asked me which boat was mine! (If they only knew how much I get lost!)

I could see what had to be the boat's masts. It was the only ship in the yard that had old school twin masts standing high and proud 100' in the air. I confidently go through the gated entrance and walk out on to the dock toward where I figured the boat was. My deduction proved correct.

As I approached the ship (I use boat and ship interchangeably, we'll cover the differences later!), what I assumed to be the crew were buzzing around doing their thing. They were much younger and more relaxed than I had pictured in my mind (which is pretty much the norm now-a-days!).

I walk passed the "only board if invited" sign, on to the gang plank to talk with someone. I figured I was more than invited, I paid a good deal of money to sail with them. No sooner than my big toe touched the deck, a young blond gal in her late 20's / early 30's (every year that goes by, I have a harder time judging peoples age!) about had a stroke, trying to shoe me off the boat. She had the same demeanor as the "Do NOT Approach" lady from Westside who thought I was a homeless person asking her for money. Click here for that funny story!  In a blink a couple of the other crew members start in on me as well. Although they were a bit more "even keeled" (pun intended). I slowly back off the vessel, which seemed to put the young gal at ease.

"Boarding time is 5pm." The scruffy ship hand said.

He looked a lot like a modern version of one of his predecessors from "Black Sails."  Later, I would find out that his name is Ben. He was jovial enough as were the entire crew once I got to know them.

"Yea, I know, but it said we could stow our gear here anytime after 11am." 

"No problem." He says looking my name up on his wadded up piece of paper with the passengers names on it.

I thank him as he explained where I could go to get some some provision. I start walking off, but I see he's not putting my gear on board. I ask about it and he replies,"Oh, we just leave it here dockside. Don't worry, we'll keep an eye on it."

Oh, no no noooo. Me no likey likey! So my pack w/all of my stuff, clothes, keys, a fair amount of $$, electronics, travel and hotel info, etc... left dockside, literally inches from being knocked in the water or someone walking away with it!? I don't think so! Call me paranoid, but no, I don't feel comfortable with that! So, I do an about face, pick up my gear and walk back to the marina.

"Yo, Craig!" A voice calls out after me.

He says it twice before I turn around to talk.

Ben tries to assure me that it's cool and the bag will be fine. I on the other hand am not about to leave all my stuff there unattended. I nicely decline his offer and tell him I'd feel more comfortable having my gear with me.

I'm sure he and the rest of the crew are talking about the uptight tourist, but if you ever been stranded a few thousand miles from home w/o your gear, you'd understand!

More later,

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Mr. Bodhi-Booty and Prom Pictures

Local Nassau artist making and selling his work on the beach right across from my hotel

Hilton, my cabby takes me through the winding back streets of Nassau. Immediately I notice something odd. I never realized that they drive on the left side of the road here. Who would've thunk?!

Along the way I ask Hilton if the surfing is good in the Bahamas.

"No, not good. Beautiful reefs, but water too shallow, mon." He says in that cool laid back island accent.

Good to know, so I guess I won't be learning how to surf here. That would explain why I never see any huge Bahama surf spots in the magazines. Ok, I'll have to stick to swimming, snorkeling, kayaking and swinging off the Tarzan swing rigged to one of the masts. 

After a half hour or so of the twisting and turning we finally pull up to the the El Greco. Much like on-line dating, the picture that they post on looks much different than what I saw before me. The 1988 prom pic gave way to 2017.

El Greco's "Prom Picture"
(Sorry I don't have one of my pics)

I grab my things, pay Hilton and check in.

"You pay $20." The clerk tells me as he pushes a poorly xeroxed sheet of crinkled paper with hand written notes scrawled on it.

"There must be a mistake." I say pointing at my printout from that clearly states at the top of the sheet, and I quote, "YOU'RE ALL SET. PAID IN FULL."

"No, no." Is the reply. "Not include V.A.T." 

"Well, it says PAID IN FULL right there. How am I misreading that?" I say, staying calm, but feel that twinge of anger rising from my belly.

"No, international doesn't include VAT." 

"I've use internationally and they haven't charged me VAT when it said "paid in full."  I state matter-of-factly.

"No..." He trails off shaking his head.

"Get your manager." I say firmly.

The manager comes out and give me the same line. Quick on his feet, he says that it is in the fine print and points out that I only have the first of three sheets printed out. I raise my voice firmly telling him that this is crap. He's not budging. He's really leaning on me not having my full docs to prove it wasn't in the fine print. Which I must admit I didn't read, I've just never been charged above what charged me; here, there, in or out of the States.

Now, I would like to say that I used my Sinatra like influence to make him see things my way, but it didn't go down that way. We stood there eyeball to eyeball. A standoff. I'd been on the road since 4am and it was now 5pm. I was tired and didn't want to start off my vacation like this. Either this guy was right, or it wasn't his first rodeo and I was just another tourist who'd be taken advantage of. He knew that most of the hotels were booked solid and I didn't want to be out trying to find another place now after traveling all day. So, I reached in my pocket, pulled out $20 and cut my losses.

"Alright, here's your $20, I'll talk to about it and mention it in my review."  I said directly. (Big deal! He's got my $20 now)

*Note to self, print entire document so next time I have the 'fine print' with me as well.

He grunts and pushes my room key across the counter to me. (Yup, an actual key, not key card!). I follow him back through the atrium where he showed me my room. It wasn't a hole, but for $149/night (including my recent $20 'VAT'  charges), it more resembled a Motel 6 than how it was depicted in No bugs, but not what I was expecting for the cost. However, it was right across the street from the beach.

Would I stay there again? Sure, it wasn't that bad. After I get back home and settle in, I'll look into the 'fine print' to see if there was a shred of truth in the VAT story, or if it was total BS.

After the manager leaves, I toss my gear onto the bed, change into shorts and flip flops and head out. I meander down the beech a fair ways, then head back toward the hotel to find somewhere to eat. I find a place by the hotel and order some food and a beer.  I'm not there more than a few sips into my beer when this dude with a huge 70's style afro approaches me smiling all friendly. He looks like William Marshall from the 1972 movie Blackula, complete with long pointed nails and bloodshot eyes (thankfully, minus the fangs).  Replace the tux with baggy jeans and a slightly soiled red tank top and you can see who I was looking at.

"Welcome mon, I'm the promoter, Mr. Booty." He says with a Cheshire grin.

"Mr. Booty?! Now that's an interesting name." I say.

"No mon, Mr. Bodhi, not booty, but I can get you booty, or jib (putting his fingers to his lips mimicking smoking a joint.) Whatever you want mon, whatever."

I chuckle, "No thanks man, I'm not into either, I'm just here to have dinner and a couple drinks." 

"Really mon, whatever you need, I'm your guy. It's my job to make sure you and your guys havin' good time." He says smiling from ear to ear.

"I see that." I say still laughing at how cliche' this all seems.

I go back to eating before Mr. Bodhi-Booty (my new nickname for him) leaves to see to his other guests.

Before he takes off he asks, "How long you here for?"

"Only tonight." I reply between bites.

"Where's your crew?" 

Now I get a feeling, 'that' feeling, you know? It might not be the best time to be 100% honest about traveling alone.

"Some friends are meeting me here after they get their luggage." I say straight faced.

"No worries mon, I make a good night for all you guys." 

He seemed to buy my line, as he walks away. Why wouldn't he? My delivery was good and most people don't travel alone, so my claim is totally believable.

Remember kids, honesty is a relative value and although lying is usually viewed as bad, under certain circumstance (such as this) it is encouraged. Please pay attention!

I finish my over priced meal and walk back to my overpriced hotel. I wouldn't have paid half as much in G.R., however GR isn't 90 degrees, sunny and on the beach. Not to mention I wouldn't have the Mr. Bodhi-Booty or El Greco stories either.

By this time, I'm tired and it's getting late (well, late enough anyway), so I retire for the evening.

The best part of all of this is... We're just getting started, I'm not even to the boat yet! It's going to be a good week, I can feel it!

More later,

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Weather's Here, Wish You Were Beautiful

 On the Liberty Clipper after climbing to the top of the main mast.
 (My palms still sweating & heart beating out of my chest!)

Traveling solo is interesting... I flew into Nassau about 3:30 pm yesterday. Grabbed a cab to my hotel (the El Greco). My cabbie, Hilton, was nice. Hilton has eight kids and drives 7 days a week (to support them I suppose). He says he has been to every State in the Union, China and Europe. I have to give it to him, he looked way too young to have eight kids ranging in age from 8 to 21! He gave me his card as I asked him all of the usual questions I ask cabbies, bartenders, waitstaff and locals I run into when I'm traveling:You know where all of the strip clubs are and how I can get my hands on some drugs and hookers? ...Just kidding I don't go to strip clubs... (Now come on, no, I'm not being serious about any of it... let it go!)

All kidding aside, the questions I typically ask are:

  1. Where are the good places to go? (Eat, See, Do)
  2. What are the places & things I need to be careful of? 
  3. If you were to only recommend 3 things to do or see, what would they be? 

Most people have been taught to be on alert when they travel. Keep an eye out for someone trying to take advantage, scam or rob you (in some places even kidnap). Maintain good awareness. Don't trust strangers. Have a money belt where you keep most of your valuables (Passport, $$$, etc). Keep track of your luggage. Don't take any wooden nickles and of course have a nice relaxing vacation!

Being that one of the main things I do for a living is teach defensive tactics, I agree with all that and more, however we have to remember to remain balanced between freedom and security. Risk is what lays between and separates the two. As conflict resolution expert Dr. Robert Humphrey said,

"As much freedom as possible with as much security as necessary."

Travel as life is inherently risky, however the rewards can far outweigh the risks, if you know how to assess and minimize your exposure. A lot depends on your risk tolerance, your awareness, your ability to assess and skills to manage that risk.  That's why I train! So I can know what experiences are worth the risk.

Every place you go is different. The look and feel of people and places can vary dramatically. Until you get in tune with where you're at, you don't really know what you're taking in, or exposing yourself to. At first it can all look overwhelming and scary, but if you relax a little and pay attention, you'll start to get a gauge for things.

"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few."

~ Shunryu Suzuki

This quote can be taken in many ways. When you're talking about being safe, you realize that if you let your fears grab a hold of you too tight, it seems as if anything goes and the amount of vulnerability is so high because "anything could happen." However, as you gain experience you begin to see that although there are risks, they are manageable if you have the right approach. 

The Liberty Clipper - a 125' twin mast schooner. 
Home for the next week or so...

As for my first experience of the Bahamas?! I'm still getting the lay of the land, the sea and the people. I haven't gotten used to their cool island accents yet, let alone all of the other factors. It'll take me a little time to get my travelers legs on, so to speak (sea legs too!)... but it's all good!

In the next few posts I will share some of my journey with you, sailing the Caribbean on a 125' sailboat called the Liberty Clipper. Island hopping in the Bahamas, meeting interesting people, seeing and doing things often reserved for dreams (and Jimmy Buffet songs!). 



"Gonna put the world away for a minute,
Pretend I don't live in it,
Sunshine gonna wash my blues away..."

~Zac Brown Band, "Knee Deep" 

I train to Live, Protect & Inspire... It's a Lifestyle, the Protectors Life, a PeaceWalker's Life!

See you in da'Islands Mon...   ;-) 


Thursday, February 23, 2017

Lie Detector

O.K. last post before I'm off the grid sailing in the Bahama's... (yea, I know life really sucks right now...)

This comes from the Tips, Tricks & Tactics section of my PeaceWalker Program. It's called the Lie Detector. It was inspired by my Mom. She was the master of this... I think pretty much all Moms are. So if you don't have access to a polygraph machine or Wonder Woman's lasso of truth, this is the next best thing. It is very useful when dealing with people. It goes like this:

If you feel you are being lied to and you want a better chance of extracting the truth from someone, use this tactic. It’s the same one that your mom used on you when you were a kid. Give them “the look.”

Here’s how you can do this simple yet effective technique:

  1. Ask them your question.
  2. Shut up and listen.
  3. Give them “The Look” - Stare at them for 3 or 4 seconds without saying a word, nodding, using any facial expression, or blinking.
  4. Let the truth spill forth!    

I know what your thinking... The answer is...

"No, it doesn't work ALL of the time with EVERYONE. However, it works a LOT of the time with MOST PEOPLE." 

Try it!!       

Why does it work so well? Probably because we were conditioned by our mothers to tell the truth of course. 

I'm not a mind reader, but I know what you're thinking now.  

"So, Craig, how am I able to tell when they ARE lying to me?"                

GREAT question! That sounds like a great blog AFTER I get back from sailing the Bahamas! I'll post that next month w/some cool pics of manning the sails, swimming with the sharks and napping in a hammock on a deserted beach!

 <  Insert me here! =)

Anchors away!

See you when I get back!